NARCiSSiSTiC ABUSE Online since 2002	Male or female, partner, spouse or parent, being the victim of a dysfunctional person is one of life's most difficult tasks.  You are not to blame and there is help. You are not alone. Narcissism is a personality disorder but there is also acquired situational narcissism. A victim can be from an upscale life or not. Abuse strikes everyone.  THE JOY OF EX can be yours.
Divorcing a narcissist?  The narcissist makes a divorce a battleground and you are the enemy.  CLICK HERE	Dating a narcissist?   7 Clues to Tell if you Are Dating a Narcissist  CLICK HERE
NARCiSSiSTiC ABUSE                            doesn't have to spoil your life                                                                                                                                                                      THE JOY OF EX :  Freedom from relationship tyranny, control and manipulation.                  Not sure if he or she is a narcissist or just a jerk? When you are manipulated or treated badly, labels  are less important than knowing that something needs to change.  However, you can't change anyone else but changing your thoughts and actions is under your control and something you can do.  You have options, but turning a jerk, sociopath, psychopath, or narcissist into prince charming isn't one of them. If the abuse is wearing you down, plan your exit.  If you aren't certain you can do so, pat yourself on the back for getting this far.  The future may be bumpy, but if you think things through and keep emotions under control, don't rush or make rash decisions, you can do it.  TIP:  When leaving, don't enrage and don't engage.  Stay calm; now is not the time to push buttons or get  revenge. consultant, coach, author, speaker, Ann Bradley, M.A. Helping you help yourself with information, planning, consulting, goal setting for relationship issues ABOUT YOU   CHARACTERISTICS OF A  NARCISSIST NARCISSISM BOOKSTORE VICTIM VERBAL ABUSE                                                                                                                      The Basics Narcissism is categorized as a personality disorder by the mental health profession.  It is referred to as NPD or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  Few are ever diagnosed because few go to therapy.   Narcissism is not high self-esteem, but a condition where the typical narcissist suffers from Preoccupation with hiding real or perceived flaws Overestimation of  importance, achievements, talents and skills Maladaptive attention seeking behavior Inability to empathize with others Excessive anger and shame in response to criticism often resulting in rage The narcissist will often manipulate others, especially partners,  to control them.  Projection and blame are hallmarks of this manipulation.  It is estimated that 85% of narcissists are males. This site respects all victims of emotional abuse, both male and female.                                                                                                          The Bottom Line With a Narcissist Because living with a narcissist can be extremely painful, it is important to understand You are not to blame Narcissists ensnare everyone Learning how to leave is important Rebuilding a life takes courage but you can do it There are plenty of people to help you, but it may not be your family or friends Information can be your ally to learn you are not alone It will take time to heal How You Got Here and How To Not Make the Same Mistake You do not have to be the victim of narcissism (narcissistic personality disorder) forever.  You don't have to lose your confidence, hope and passion for life because you are in a relationship with a narcissist. This experience can be a catalyst for growth and self respect and learning how to cope with difficult events and circumstances.  You can learn the skills to move beyond.  If you aren't sure why you picked an abuser or how you got yourself in this position, you will feel better if you learn why.  Understanding this can be a relief, and help you now and in the future.  Knowing the characteristics can help you so you never are involved, ever again, in a toxic relationship.  Find out what the research says and how this can help you. When you understand you will find this will help you become happier, more self assured and you will not blame yourself, but will make good decisions and have good relationships. KNOWING YOU ARE NOT ALONE IS IMPORTANT! Many people think they are the only one ths has happened to.  Actually in you are in very good company. You don't have to suffer when you leave, and you can learn from what others know. I want you to look at this site, but men, please don't be alarmed that it refers to narcissistic men - we know it is just as applicable to women. TO LEARN ABOUT BREAKING UP WITH A NARCISSIST   CLICK HERE TIP: Don't enrage the narcissist in your life. He or she will make you pay.  Stay calm and plan your exit.  Don't give in to 'letting it all out'.  Narcissists don't forget and they like revenge. Your 'outing' of him or her adds to his narcissistic injury.  A narcissist needs to look good in front of others and you gain nothing by proving he is not the best, smartest, wealthiest, most capable person he wants tobe seen as.     You have a right to a life without fear, anger, betrayal and put downs. The part of what makes someone a victim of narcissistic abuse is not cast in stone. Flexibility is at the core of human life and the ability to reinvent one's self can be tapped into to leave the abusive situation. Sign up for iconic and always interesting newsletter with research, stories, articles of interest and more. NEWSLETTER: Let's Talk! Sign Up Today * required Email Address: * First Name: * Powered by VerticalResponse Life isn't always fair, but it can be good.  I wrote this guide for women who want a good life and who want to make peace with their past so the future will be good, and want to laugh again. Embrace the joy, it's yours for the taking: POWER GUIDE FOR WOMEN           Your Exit Strategy - A Most Important Event If you are thinking of leaving your partner you need a plan.  People are sometimes so anxious to get out they rush into exiting the relationship without a strategy. This is not the way to do it with a narcissist.  If married, a divorce without a plan could mean you end up losing custody or a home.  Ask yourself, "What is my goal and how am I going to get there?"  And then factor in that this is a narcissist and understand things are done differently with a narcissist.   DIVORCE and NARCISSISM    DIVORCE: The Real Truth, The Hidden Danger   A  NARCISSIST In  COURT For important information on divorce see DIVORCE and LAWYERS click here                                                  TIP:   You do not have to remain the victim of a narcissistic parent and you can choose to set boundaries to keep them from bothering you in your adult life.                   Consultations Phone Consultation with follow up email. Includes my book, a $24.95 value. Stay or go decisions Pre-divorce plan How to talk to your narcissist How to leave Talking to a narcissist Children and the narcissistic parent Divorcing a narcissist Self-esteem issues  CONSULTATION:  CLICK HERE    I also offer email consultations for $50.00.  CLICK  HERE    Ann Bradley Univ. of Pennsylvania, Antioch, Stanford University "Ann -  You helped me be calm in the midst of this divorce storm. You worked so hard for me, your ideas changed how we did things and made all the difference. Thank you, thank you!" J.B.   "If I hadn't read this site and talked to you, I would never, ever have had the calm and courage to deal with this.  You walked me through with a plan and a smile and had faith in me when no one else did, especially me." K.R.                            LIFE AFTER...MOVING TO HAPPY                              You Have Many Possible Futures                                Which One Will You Choose?                                          Your Fault?   NO! You may have been told for so long that everything was your fault, can't do anything right, you're not smart, and so all of a sudden, you don't know your strengths and the things that are right, and good, and healthy about you.  Try this:  you identified an abnormal relationship and you took action. That meant you used certain character strengths - you used wisdom and  perseverance.  You nurtured your children; that means you have the capacity to love and be loved.  You aren't dumb and it isn't your fault and I want you to get back in the game of life now! So jump in and read my outrageously named book on the site I put up...because I wanted to! and I wanted to call it dumb blonde and I did.               A Quick Fun, Easy to Read Get Back on Track Book and Choose one of Your Many Possible Futures! This is a fun to read self help guide will make you laugh, encourage you,  and help you get back on the road to happiness again.  Find out why dumb blondes aren't and how to find fun and go places without an abuser hanging around! Go ahead...see what you can do, who you can be!   A LITTLE GUIDE FOR BIG GIRLS: A One Hour Fast Track Guide to Do-Overs  CLICK HERE "This  book is a blessing. Organized, thoughtful and full of pain and how to deal with it, I salute you for telling us your story and analyzing the "divorce industry" as you call it. You have saved my daughter thousands, she learned what to say in court, and best of all she got custody." If you want to a book on divorce which is a  guidebook and my story and how to plan for a  difficult divorce:  Divorcing A Narcissist: The Book                                 IF YOU ARE READY TO: Live Without  A Toxic  Partner, Learn the Steps To Take Before You Say You Are Leaving, Learn How To Make Your Next Relationship a Good One (what red flags to look for)  Re-engage With Life after Divorce THEN YOU ARE READY TO LEARN what to do how to do it when to do it    HOW TO LEAVE   If narcissistic personality disorder or other emotional abusers  are ruining your life, take action. The narcissist does not get better, but you can.  Many people are both afraid to leave and afraid to stay thinking they are alone and nothing can be done.  Often, upscale abusers are perceived as being able to buy their way out,  leaving the abused  feeling completely powerless.  Learned helplessness means you think you have no power to change a situation. It leads to depression.  IT IS NOT  PERMANENT.  You have the ability to change yourself, your beliefs and a bad situation.  You can UNlearn the feeling of helplessness. Action is the antidote to depression. Life can be good again. In fact, the more you act positively, the more your brain changes. YOUR STORY:  SPEAK UP AND BE HEARD Tell the world! If you ever felt your voice was drowned out and no one is listening to you and  that your story is important  and needs to be told,  I strongly recommend doing something about it.  You can write and make money.  See what others have done. You can do it too. People like yourself write me with great insight. This should be shared. Why not make money while you are helping others?  How To Be  Heard! Ann, you have touched and positively healed  so many deeply injured people and that certainly includes me.  You have been my lifeline a million times, I have felt understood by you and not alone, you have educated and encouraged me, I have learned from you that I am not crazy, just badly traumatized including physically by the relentless domestic and legal aggression and the losses I have absorbed. Oh, Ann, you have helped me fight off a terrible sense of humiliation, shame and guilt.. And for being fatigued and sick and weepy. You are part of my clawing my way back up....E.K. ...and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.  -- Anais Nin                                                     And More.... Go here and find the rest of this site. It's chock full of Information on identifying a narcissist, divorcing a narcissist, choosing the right attorney for this situation, and custody information specific to difficult divorce situations. Identifying red flags in relationships so you don't make the same mistake again. Ever wonder why you choose the same bad partner over and over again? You can break free of this cycle and kiss abuse good-bye forever!

                                                        
                                                                                                         BOOKSTORE   

THE EBOOK ....that takes you through my divorce with a narcissist.  Startling description of fraud, tax evasion, emotional abuse, survival techniques and a look at the legal system. DIVORCE: The Real Truth, The Hidden Dangers, Surviving Deception, Betrayal and Narcissism  If you want to see what divorcing a narcissist is like, this personal journey will show you why you need to prepare, plan and get help.  Add To Cart

Understand yourself, the narcissist in your life and what it means. Knowledge is power. This site is always a work in progress. Today is November, 2008.