After Narcissistic Abuse: Moving to Happy


You Have Many Possible Futures

Which One Will You Choose?

I feel so sad when I get emails from people who have ended the relationship and feel adrift, lost and without hope.  This is understandable.  Healing takes time but  traditional therapy often fails.  People end up with no goals, drained and tired, still suffering from the abuse.  Don’t fall in to the sinkhole of despair. People tell me they are so dumb!  No, no, you are not dumb.

Your Fault?      Oh, NO!

You may have been told for so long that everything was your fault, you can’t do anything right, you’re not smart, and so all of a sudden, you don’t know your strengths and the things that are right, and good, and healthy about you.

Try this:  you identified an abnormal relationship and you took action. That meant you used certain character strengths – you used wisdom and  perseverance.  You nurtured your children; that means you have the capacity to love and be loved.  You aren’t dumb and it isn’t your fault and I want you to get back in the game of life now! So jump in and read my outrageously named book on the site I put up…because I wanted to! and I wanted to call it dumb blonde and I did.

A Quick Fun, Easy to Read Get Back on Track Book and Choose one of Your Many Possible Futures!

This is a fun to read self help guide will make you laugh, encourage you,  and help you get back on the road to happiness again.  Find out why dumb blondes aren’t and how to find fun and go places without an abuser hanging around!

Go ahead…see what you can do, who you can be!

The (Not So) Dumb Blonde’s Instructional  Manual for a Good Life. 

If you want to a book on divorce which is a  guidebook and my story and how to plan for a  difficult divorce:  DIVORCING A NARCISSIST: THE BOOK


  • Live Without  A Toxic  Partner,
  • Learn the Steps To Take Before You Say You Are Leaving,
  • Learn How To Make Your Next Relationship a Good One (what red flags to look for)
  •  Re-engage With Life after Divorce

what to do
how to do it
when to do it


If narcissistic personality disorder or other emotional abusers  are ruining your life, take action. The narcissist does not get better, but you can.  Many people are both afraid to leave and afraid to stay thinking they are alone and nothing can be done.

Often, upscale abusers are perceived as being able to buy their way out,  leaving the abused  feeling completely powerless.  Learned helplessness means you think you have no power to change a situation. It leads to depression.  IT IS NOT  PERMANENT.  You have the ability to change yourself, your beliefs and a bad situation.  You can UNlearn the feeling of helplessness.

Action is the antidote to depression.

Life can be good again. In fact, the more you act positively, the more your brain changes.


Tell the world!

If you ever felt your voice was drowned out and no one is listening to you and  that your story is important  and needs to be told,  I strongly recommend doing something about it.  You can write and make money.  See what others have done. You can do it too. People like yourself write me with great insight. This should be shared. Why not make money while you are helping others?  Or journal or write a blog or a tweet. There are ways to be heard. Share your pain and your triumph over it.

“Ann, you have touched and positively healed  so many deeply injured people and that certainly includes me.  You have been my lifeline a million times, I have felt understood by you and not alone, you have educated and encouraged me, I have learned from you that I am not crazy, just badly traumatized including physically by the relentless domestic and legal aggression and the losses I have absorbed. Oh, Ann, you have helped me fight off a terrible sense of humiliation, shame and guilt.. And for being fatigued and sick and weepy. You are part of my clawing my way back up”….E.K.

...and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. — Anais Nin