Lawyers Lie – Get Over It

Justice and Family Law

That’s what Palo Alto family law attorney Kirby Burnside said as we were reading a letter from opposing counsel Jeffrey Kaufman. I pointed out lies and she said, “Lawyers lie, get over it.”


Recently I filed a bar complaint against Robin Towse of Santa Cruz for lying. Her response to the Bar was that she “had a right to zealously defend her client and was beholden to no one else’. That her lie impacted many and disrupted lives is not what the legal system means when it says to zealously defend your client (who happens to be 25K past due in child support)


When a pro tem judge in Santa Clara County was mediating a session during my divorce and she asked Jeff Kaufman why he was taking this to trial because “Ann has enough evidence to bury your client.” he replied, “Because my client is prepared to lie.”

A spectacular loss at trial was the result of his actions/defense of his client which was a big win for me and my attorney, Patrick Hall. (Thanks, Patrick.) Jeff compounded his loss by taking the case to the Appeals Court where he lost even more spectacularly when they gave me more than I asked for – plus case law to back it up. (Thank you, 6th District Court of Appeals, California)

The point of all this is as Winston Churchill said, “When you are going through hell, keep on going.”

They took years for their ignorant, aggressive battle. But post traumatic growth is real and eventually the ex and I communicated and worked out re-payment of the Judgment monies. I let it go for years and when he was ready to repay and asked for a reduction in interest, I agreed. The monies have been repaid now and lives go on.

What I learned from the recent Bar complaint against attorney Towse of Santa Cruz was that egos and corruption and lies and danger will always lurk systemically in the system but you can do your part by exposing it. Shine light in a dark room and the roaches scatter. In the case with Ms Towse she used the word choking in her motion because the Santa Cruz DA’s office had recently let it be known, “If you want my attention in a child abuse case use the word choking.”

He’s up for grabs, folks. Misuse of a word to indicate a felony that has not occurred is a crime. Inciting lawyers to commit a crime is reportable to the Bar which is actionable. I have Bar Complaint Fatigue so I won’t be writing this one. But please feel free to let the CA Bar know if you feel like exposing more corruption. DA, Santa Cruz County, California.

Ms Towse withdrew from the case. No charges were filed because in fact, no choking took place. And folks, when you write a bar complaint, be sure and cc the attorney to let them know: I see you, the light is on and it’s your turn for sleepless nights. You earned them.

For the full story of my divorce from the day he said, “I owe you lots of money, I keep a double set of books.”, to the appeals lawyer who said, “I filed your brief today” and never even wrote it…go to DIVORCE and LAWYERS

Ann Bradley


  1. Hi Anne
    Do you want to help me write part of my book. Oxycontin Bride. I’m divorcing a prominent physician. He is a psychiatrist specializing in addiction…and a year after returning from rehab has recently admitted he used prescription drugs recreationally and secrehly since before we met to ‘enhance’ or to appear elated .
    Here’s the shit theres huge psychic entanglement..and do much abuse includibg a near death experience for me ..and currently emmense fear that I’m too slow..and have already been ‘played ‘ by thethe time I realize it. We are probably going to trial….Interested ?

  2. Ann – 15 years ago, I thought I married my soulmate and best friend, 15 weeks ago he announced (demanded) that we divorce, and 15 hours ago – I learned about Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Long story short, it was all a con for my money…Any insights to battle this properly?
    I know he will try everything and anything to get to me – I don’t have the monies to have it go on forever – but he was/had nothing when we met – I want to leave him that way.

    Any insights would be appreciated.


    • Hi, Learn everything about your state’s family code. Use the code and case law to your advantage. Keep very quiet as you learn and plan and strategize. You probably have rights to the bank account. Protect your finances NOW, but without a lot of fanfare and no drama. Go several attorneys for their initial consultations. Spend time on blogs from family law attorneys in your state. This is the time for soaking up information and processing. Quietly. Never tell him what you are doing or capable of doing. Don’t put yourself in danger by trying to leave him broke. Take very good care of you and it will be to your benefit. You’ll have money and freedom and if he has a few bucks, ok. He may not, doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you are ok!

      Strategize and plan and learn and do it all in stealth mode. Loose lips sink ships. Best to you as you journey forth. Ann

  3. Ann, can you recommend a book for picking up the pieces and starting over, for problem solving, all the fall out. You were fortuna te since your narccisstic ex actually would follow rules, you can win in court and win in your divorce settlement but getting enforcement is a whole different matter. Most true Narcs believe rules don’t apply to them and to some exist above the law. Most abusive narccisstic would rather their child starve than to pay a penny and admit they are at fault. At most you get a judgement and seeing a penny of that LOL! It truly depends on the judge, regardless of the best atty, most can’t afford and tge end the Narcs has spent it all by the time the wheels of justice finally turn. How to u recover when starting over with nothing, the narccissist long gone..abandons you, their children, and is spiteful and vindictive to the very end.

  4. SORRY FOR TYPOS, I SHOULD ADD THAT YOU TRULY NEVER KNOW ANYONE UNTIL IT’S TO THE WIRE. AFTER 20 PLUS YRS OF MARRIAGE I WOULD HAVE NEVER THOUGHT MY NOW EX WAS CAPABLE OF THE TWISTED SICK CRAP HE DID, BUT APPARENTLY HE WAS..WHEN I TOLD HIM HE OWED OUR 15 YR OLD DAUGHTER AN APOLOGY, FOR THE HELL HE PUT HER THROUGH, HE SAID F…HER!!!!# ..AFTER 28 CONTEMPT CHGES, 3 ATTEMPTS FOR A PROTECTIVE ORDER FOR THE HARRASSMENT, THREATS, VANDELISM, AND LAWYERS SAYING THIS GUY’S CRAZY, YOU’D THINK SOMEONE WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING, INSTEAD OF THE JUDGE WHINNING, CAN’T YOU GO TO MEDIATION???? As the family therapist pointed out to me, Nobody cares about you and your daughter, and she was right. The only thing that saved us was our daughters court appt therapist giving her dad supervised visitation getting counseling with our child, and he promptly walked out of her life. (AND OF COURSE ITS ALL MY FAULT) Never realized that hiding inside the 300 pd frame OF A HUMAN was the biggest coward that would steal from his own momma!!! AND OYR DAUGHTER, WHO HE BLAMES FOR ME LEAVING HIS CRAZY RAGING ASS!!# Now He is having the time of his life, while I’m left picking of the pieces of our lives, my finances, and everything gone… and as our daughter stated, it was like surviving Katrina…I’m still angry, he did everything he could to make us homeless, and the monster still stands there and has the gall to think I owe him something? Calls me names and still blames our child and me for his psychopathic breakdown??? I should be jumping for joy, well hell if I’d got to blow every dime we had and crap all over him the way he did us, I would be happy!! He calls me the crazy one, well hell it ain’t everyday your survive a narccisstic sadist sociopath, enraged bc his wife left him….he is lucky!!!! he can just disconnect fm reality, the rest of us are left cleaning up his crap, and we dont have that luxury!!! Wonder how well he’d do if I could reach down his filthy mouth and disconnect those saggy balls fm his pathetic human shell? NOW THERE WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT OF HEALING FOR ME! HOW BOUT WRITING A BOOK IN HOW TO RECOVER FM ALL THE FALL OUT? HOW TO PICK UP THE PIECES FM SURVIVING THESE MONSTERS????

  5. My EX is a narcissist
    Somehow someway he got the mediator and his attorney to lie in his behalf.
    My EX has said under penalty of perjury that he works in Law Enforcement, but he does not.
    I tried to reveal this to the mediator, but he said he was going to tell the courts I was vindictive.
    Even though I have documented facts they were not used by the mediator.
    Based on the Mediator’s misleading report and accounts that did not occur, my son was placed in temporary custody of his father.
    I was afraid to say anything at first because the mediator threatened me. He was volatile, vicious, insulting and very very bias. The mediator even tried to get my EX to lie. My EX did not lie, he simply said nothing, as if his mouth was super glued. My EX just turned his head and smirked.
    My son is afraid and wants to come home. My money is almost non-existent anymore.

    I really found out another woman went through the same thing. I am African American and the other woman is Caucasian, so it’s not a race thing it’s a woman thing.
    How sure there are a lot more Women and children being affected by this insane Mediator.
    How can I get my son back without some kind of repercussions from Family Court. They seem to give this Predator more and more time.

    • Hi – have you done an online search of this mediator? You can often learn a lot this way – also consider a protective parents association for support and information. There is one in California and even if you are not in this state they have good info. Also, check out William Eddy’s site. He is both an attorney and a therapist and specializes in high conflict divorces – his pages might have some help. You probably need to say, in a non-drama mama manner, that you will not be insulted and lied about. There are ways of handling abuse in the legal system. Please don’t get emotional with them, but do not let them step all over you. You have rights. Please, don’t give up and best to you. Ann

  6. I am completely grateful for your website and all the information that you provide. I have only one issue with all that has been posted and that is that you present the victim to always be the female. I live with a man who has been destroyed by a female narcissist and it breaks my heart to see how the system *legal* favors the women. He is working through the abuse but the legal system continues to badger him over her lies. I hope you understand that narcissism knows no gender. Again than you for educating people on this issue.

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