After the Pain, The Power and the Pleasure

narcissists impact on healthHad enough? Fed up? Told you aren’t smart enough or good enough? Well, c’mon girl, time to get your  power  back.  In so many ways, for too long, women have ceded power to men because they just have to have them – so they become people pleasers or doormats or pregnant.  Whatever it takes, they do it.  And in the process, they don’t even realize they are losing all that makes a woman attractive. That magic, that juju, is gone when you throw yourself at a guy or do whatever he asks.

Take yourself OUT of the game everyone else is playing. That way, you get noticed. Don’t run after a guy, ever. Don’t tell him you love him first or drop plans for him.  Do not jump through hoops. Make yourself aloof and let him see you as someone he has to chase after. If you cook for him and clean for him and pick up his dirty laundry, guess who he is reminded of? Who does he see? His mother!  That’s the last thing you want..there is no romance in recreating Mom!

If you want him to respect you, don’t talk so much. Keep quiet and when you do speak, it will be heard.  You have to present a persona that is cool, calm and collected. That doesn’t mean you can’t ever be enthusiastic. When he brings you gifts, that’s the time. When he gets a promotion, that’s the time. But chatty Cathy soon fades into the woodwork. Remember that friendship is intriguing and calming and ultimately what a guy wants. He wants you to be his friend.

And you should want it for yourself also. You don’t need a relationship – needy women look desperate and they don’t have a life. Women who look like they love life, find themselves in the midst of a lot of activities and they make friends. And friends turn into lovers.

You aren’t losing your femininity here, you are increasing it with an air of confidence and mystery. When you feel good about yourself, have an optimistic outlook, you become a magnet.  Let him do things for you. If you try too hard, and do too much, he comes to expect it. Let him ask you out, take you out. You can do a home cooked meal later on. Not in the beginning. No need to sew his button back on. Remember you are not Mom. Mom is not sexy, you are.

Take back all the stereotyping and refuse to be a doormat. Your attraction comes because he has to pursue you. Forget all the silly tricks that make women look needy. And those dumb blondes? Hey….they are very smart – ’cause they get what they want.

Need some help embracing your power? Why not – we all do. Check out this and see if its right for you. POWER GUIDE

Don’t forget that we are born to thrive. Life’s curve balls can be caught, deflected and thrown away. Joy is your birthright, let’s make sure you connect with it.

Ann Bradley


  1. Thank you for your strength that led you to creating this site. I just want you to know I admire your courage. Would you mind if I share your link as a reference point in a writing piece I am currently working on?

    • Hi – I am writing again because I went to your website and I saw the link you put to this site but it isn’t working. Could you fix it please? Thx so much! (A broken link gives the impression to people the site is down. Not the impression I want to leave! TY) Best, Ann

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