Communication with and talking to a narcissist so you don’t fall apart is both art and skill. From their word salad to the verbal put-downs and constant verbal manipulations you have a moving target to deal with. Take a deep breath, get yourself in emotional control. do positive and realistic self talk such as, “It would be great if the words from his mouth were sweet and calm, but they aren’t and I am not going to make them worse.”
The more in control you are of yourself the less he or she can control, annoy or enrage you through his or her words. Be direct when you need be and calm. No need to speak in anger or attempt domination. If you understand you are with someone who mirrors normal language patterns and repeats what he hears from those he respects you will be better able to keep control of the conversation. When that happens you don’t feel anxious and you can end the conversation on your terms, not his.